I have learned that IKEA kitchen tables are really, really sturdy. Any time I took a work phone call my kids would wait a minute or two to see if I would be more than a few minutes. Then when the time was just right....wait for it...they would jump on the kitchen table. I don't mean hop up on it, I mean step onto it with their dirty little feet and start jumping like its a trampoline. Together. At the same time. Their heads just missing the kitchen light that hangs over the table, but the breeze still making it sway. Somehow they avoid falling right off with the skill and precision of a circus performer.
There I am trying to pay attention to my client and sound professional. All the while I'm wildly waving them off the table and giving my very best crazy mom look to get them off. Mouthing "GET DOWN" in full shout. It failed. Every single time. Because really, what else was I going to do?
"Yes, very important client/colleague, would you please hold--yes, I just have go scream like a banshee at my children and lock them in the closet so I can finish this call. Thank you."
Somehow that doesn't sound right. Then they would hear the telltale words--the clue the fun was about to end. As I closed my phone call and said goodbye, the words weren't out my mouth a nanosecond and they were off the table and back to playing with their toys.
Kids are brilliant--and they have the memory of a knat for anything they have done wrong. The looks of complete confusion and "Who us? When? Doing what?" were Academy Award performances.
For a split second I think I've imagined the whole thing. Until the phone rings and the excited anticipation is palpable. I see them silently exchange an entire conversation with their eyes as they plan their ascent and their escape routes.
Yes, I have learned that to work from home with children around definately requires special tools. Phones, faxes and computers with internet. But most important is a very sturdy kitchen table. I would never have guessed.
